The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

"Write what you know." So goes the common wisdom when it comes to the art of telling a story. The idea being that through examining one's own experience, the personal can become universal. Sometimes this little exercise goes well, as in Withnail & I, and other times it all goes horribly wrong, as in Adventureland.

Let's start with the wrong. Adventureland sucked six ways from Sunday and somehow managed to make amusement parks look boring. Good show, Adventureland, you ruined one of the pure joys in the world. A pox on you and a plague on your offspring. This movie gets a 1 and deserves less.

The story is your basic seemingly-inconsequential-events-turn-into-life-changing-experience tale of which I'm usually so fond. I love high school/college coming of age tales and this had the basic skeleton but couldn't quite find a way to make a single interesting scene.

I blame the "stars." Jesse Eisenberg was a stone cold snooze.

I actually kind of likes that he was the cliched sensitive guy but wasn't actually as spineless as they usually make those characters.

Spare me. He was a bore and so was the horsy Twilight girl. They were a match made in beige. Yawn yawn yawn.

The main issue with the film was that this was obviously based on an extremely influential and personal story for the writer but it just didn't translate well into film. Whether this was due more to an unfocused plot, tepid acting or just a generally uninteresting story I'm not sure but all three problems created an absolutely bland and forgettable movie.

Unlike the magnificent Withnail & I which also was obviously personal, if not autobiographical, but amazed and delighted throughout. So many hilarious lines and bizarre situations. As outlandish as the the characters are in this film, it's easy to relate to their genuine emotions and to root for them as the slowly lose their grip on reality.

It took me a bit of time to figure this film out. Two unemployed third rate actors/first rate boozers go on a "holiday by mistake" and hilarity ensues. The tone at the beginning is garish and ugly but sets the mood nicely for such a twisted little tail. Richard E. Grant is mesmerizing as is the guy who plays Danny, the wrecked drug casualty who steals every scene he's in. Withnail & I is a brilliant film about friendship that never gets mawkish or embarrassingly sentimental yet is still deeply affecting.

On paper, Adventureland seems like the place to be as compared to the setting of Withnail & I. Who in their right mind would choose a dingy, vermin infested flat in a crumbling city over lovely Kennywood Park yet somehow after seeing these films, I cringe at the thought of playing carnival games and falling in love and crave the taste of lighter fluid and shivering in a twin bed with a friend.