Monday, July 27, 2009

A Knight in Augie's Army

Paul Rudd is watchable in anything. I loved him as the bizarre, absent-minded surf instructor in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, as the angry, food tray tossing counselor in Wet Hot American Summer and now as the energy drink pushing, court-ordered Big Brother in Role Models. And something about Seann Wiliam Scott does it for me too. I'm not sure what it is though since he reminds me of all the meatheads I went to college with, but his sense of self-awareness makes him more palatable than the frat boys without a home who made me constantly fight the urge to kill in school.

You know, you're friend Listmaker is not a fan of Mr. Scott and I have to agree with him. His "self-awareness" as you call it comes across as smarmy and the annoying persona of someone who is a little too pleased with himself. Listmaker also hints that the nerdy kid from Superbad wasn't enjoyable in his film either and I second that emotion. In Superbad he was like a panther disguised as a geek. Here he was like a wet, whiny blanket that made me sad for the future of America and its legions of fantasy addled agoraphobes.

What?!? I hated McLovin' but mysteriously found Master Mintz-Plasse much more appealing as a kid who simply wanted to live in the world typically inhabited by half-elves and bugbears. And seeing Paul Rudd come to his senses and embrace the world of way-too-old-for-this-sort-of-shit role playing adventures and join those who wish Rivendell were a real place made me a bit teary eyed and reminded me of the brilliant last episode of Freaks & Geeks where James Franco's character stops fighting his natural urges and gives way to the hypnotic whirlpool that is Dungeons and Dragons. All hail Carlos the Dwarf!

Gadzooks! You're a true blue fantasy freak aren't you? I identified with the cape wearing doofus' parents and cheered as they belittled his lameness. Once they tacked on that Hollywood ending where the parents saw through his pasty, sun-averse shell to the Minotaur-swilling, cool dude beneath, I cursed this piece of filth and everyone involved, including Eva Card who did a fantastic job playing the Chocolate Strawberry Girl. She is the only thing allowing me to give this movie a 2 instead of the 1 it deserves.

Taste the icy steel of my Battle Axe, heathen!

4 comments:

Dustin said...

Yeah, I would give this movie a 3, but the little kid dressed up as Gene Simmons alone boosts it up just barely to a 4. Man, I thought Vince Vaughn pulled the saddest phoning in of a performance in Dodgeball - he could learn some things from Paul Rudd in this. Good God, are we supposed to root for him at all? The only positive aspects were people in side roles. . . really just those heavily involved in the world of L.A.I.R.
Booo. Hisss.

Crispin H. Glover said...

i respectfully disagree with your 3 but then again, i liked dodgeball so what do i know? the creepy L.A.I.R. guy who used the medieval language so well killed me. Good morrow to you!

jamie said...

can we get a spoiler alert before Mr. Wheel goes giving away major plot points next time?

amazingly enough, i think your streak a reviewing movies that i have not seen is still going strong. then again, i watch like 5 movies a year at this point.

Crispin H. Glover said...

I truly am sorry if I spoiled this film for you. I guess all these reviews should come with a spolier alert especially since the wheel has no mental censor and spews forth whatever bile and major plot points it wants to.