Great or Grating?

The mysteries of Netflix continued last week as I prepared for night after long night of double features to work through all the instant viewing options that were set to disappear on January 1st. But then, on the third night when I had 6 movies left to watch, I discovered 4 of them had their expiration dates disappear as quickly as they had appeared and suddenly my plate was much less full and my week ended up being much less stressful.

Speaking of stress, here are two movies that plucked my nerves and made me grit my teeth in frustration. Both were half interesting and half infuriating. First up is Julie & Julia. I'm not surprised that the Meryl Streep half towered over the Amy Adams half but I was shocked by how much I fell in love with Julia Child and the overwhelming desire for violence that Julie Notalent inspired in me. Julia Child was a bizarre lady and a serious bad-ass who deserves all the praise and respect she earned over the course of her fascinating life and the segments of the movie focused on her were fun. The sections following Julie made me hate the present and long for the past. Nostalgia for "the good old days" and sighing over how the modern age is so lame compared to past are exercises that usually make me gag since, as much of a Luddite as I am in some ways, I love the modern world. Julie typified every cliche about self-obsessed bloggers, selfish twenty-somethings and navel gazing memoirists. In short, she made me ill as did her open-mouth chewing, boring as all get out husband and horrid circle of friends and acquaintances. Julia Child however, with her manly hands and bizarre voice, made me swoon.

Absolutely horrifying. It gets a 2. An example of the worst kind of fame piggybacking, sucking the soul from someone with talent and hoping for a whiff of the ability and grace they displayed. I loathe Julie and I hear that her recent memoir is all about how she felt empty inside after her nonsense book based on a blog came out, cheated on her husband and then wrote about that. I was so happy when Julia Child rebuffed her late in the film although the victory was short lived as it only made her pout when instead it should have made her re-evaluate her sham of a life. Gag me with a wire whisk.

The less said about Paper Heart the better. It wasn't really a disappointment since I didn't have high hopes for it but it was a long, tough slog of a viewing experience. I stopped watching Seinfeld reruns because I couldn't stand fully grown adults still dealing with their problems like neurotic little babies. Well, it's no fun watching younger people obsess over nonsense either. Charlyne Yi, the "star" of this film has given up on love and it's no wonder since even the most timid conversation makes her bury her head in her shirt like a turtle.

I felt sorry for her and actually warmed up to her by the end. It was obviously a bit of an act, highlighted by the glaringly fictional "true love" segments of the movie where she and Michael Cera start their awkward relationship. Her shyness was a put on and set the scene for this odd scripted documentary and once I got past the initial disorientation, I enjoyed her exploration of what love means to the man on the street and how a clumsy, jaded soul can somehow end up stepping into a big pile of it. I also loved the animated story sections of this film, especially the one with the motorcycles and 'splosions. I give it a 6.

Bleh. How can you be so venomous towards Julie & Julia and so forgiving towards this slop? The interviews were passable but even those were nearly ruined by her giggly, space cadet personality. Micheal Cera plays himself well but his likability is adversely affected by his proximity to her. The fictionalized scenes are painful to watch and I loathed the guy playing the director with every cell in my body. If her weirdness was a put on, it was as horrible an act as her stand up comedy. If it was in any way real, may the lord have pity on her soul.