The Road to Hell is Paved With Old Acquaintances

My decision to see Away We Go was a little like that Taxi episode where Latka is stuck in a cab with another woman during a snowstorm or something and he has to decide between freezing to death or cheating on Simka with this stranger to stay warm. He labors over the decision as neither is a desirable option and he vasciallates forever over what to do. While the decision to see this movie was not a life or death situation it was a difficult choice. On one hand you've got Maya Rudolph who I completely adore and who elevates everything she's in. On the other hand you've got John Krasinski, a bland meatball whose self-satisfied demeanor on The Office is annoying at best.

He's a mental goon who has blackmailed his way into Hollywood. What is most upsetting about him is that he doesn't seem to be acting on The Office, I think he's actually that dull and smug in real life. Maybe he doesn't even know he's on a teevee show. Maybe he really believes he's part of a six year documentary on the most dysfunctional office in America.

I doubt that but I find him more repellent than appealing and wasn't looking forward to another hour and a half with the guy. Shockingly, he won me over in the first few seconds of the movie. His affectless acting and genuine sincerity were a refreshing change from the heinous Jim character and his talk about wanting to teach his child how to whiddle was endearing. Maya Rudolph as well was effortlessly naturalistic but sorely underused. The first third of this film was pretty entertaining but then it entered a tailspin from which it never recovered.

And the explosion as it hit the ground was glorious. The premise is laid out well and is intriguing - a pregnant couple visit old friends in various North American locations to decide where they want to live and raise their kid - but they completely loused it up with a neverending string of cliches and impossible-to-like characters. Nobody, from the parents to the sister to the old college chums, seemed in the least bit believable. I had heard tales of how over the top and horrible Maggie Gyllenhaal was in this film but everyone they met was just as cretinous. I kept wanting them to wake up and realise what jerks these people all were and decide to move to a town where they didn't know anybody so they could remove themselves from the chuckleheads of their past.

The movie went from enjoyable to tolerable to unbearable in three acts. First time parents and people in the midst of a move are under enough stress without having to suffer as many fools as these two did.

Director Sam Mendes finally stopped the torture with a treacly ending that did nothing to recapture any of my good will. A horrible, horrible movie that will turn you off children, rekindling old friendships and traveling. I give it a 1 and two thumbs down. If you've always wanted to build and move into that bomb shelter you've been planning for years, this is the film for you.